Hi. This is Ottermoon.
Well I've been working up to coming out of the broom closet for weeks now, but I don't know how to start. It's not like I can just tell my Christian mother "hey mom, I'm a Wiccan" see what I mean? Any advice,anyone?

Well, to give advice, we first have to know the full situation.

We know you're in the 'broom closet' right now, and your mother is Christian. That's it.

What is your mother like? Is she the kind to yell and scream and drag you to church every Sunday when you tell her? Or will she listen calmly and understand that this is the path you have chosen? Does she belong to a church, or is she Christian without actually attending mass each week? Do you usually go to church with her? Does she preach a lot? Or does she provide good conversation, but only when asked?

Answer those, then also give us a description of how you think she will react. Maybe she's hyper-preachy, and goes around declaring who she is and who she worships, but will understand that one path is not right for everybody. Maybe she tends to be open, but will draw the line at her own children being non-Christian. What do you think will happen?

Also, what is your father's stance on it? You didn't mention him....is he the same as your mom? More open? Or more strict?

Give us a better idea of the situation, and it'll be easier to help. ^^

~Dove

ETA: BTW, don't answer the questions with Yes/No........Just give a short description that answers each.

well my mom just found out... she thinks its a phase i'm going through. my dad cant stand religion in general... he's an atheist scientist. however, i do still need advice. what the hell do you put in a book of shadows anyways??????? how can i tell my conservative jewish friend...

Hm. Well, as for the book of shadows, it tends to be a place in which to record notes on holidays (sabbats AND esbats), rituals, and different aspects of the craft, such as herbalism and divining (tarot, runes....), to write down the spells you've used, and in general just keep track of anything to do with the craft. Some people literally fill the pages with notes, others use it more like a journal. It's up to you.

As for telling your friend....personally, I don't see any real reason to just walk up to him/her and announce your religion. When you met, was that how YOU learned what THEIR religion is? If he/she finds out, then he/she finds out. Don't bother making a big deal out of it; then you're just looking for trouble. And, as hard as it is, if, when they do find out, they can't accept who you are and what path you have chosen for yourself, then they aren't a very good friend to begin with. If they end the friendship based on that, then know that it is for the best that you don't hang out with them anymore, because why would you want to spend time with people who can't accept you?

The best way to 'come out of the broom closet' is to stop hiding. Really, that's it. Don't make a big show of it, but don't hide it anymore either. For me, coming out was just asking my parents for a day off from household chores for the holiday (Litha). They asked why, so I explained. I had been wearing a pentagram necklace since December, but it was still news to them. Luckily, they were both very accepting and even quite supportive. My hyper-Christian-she-preaches-at-us-at-the-lunch-table best friend, who spares no expenses on her religion, was totally fine with it, and respects my beliefs as I do hers. If your friend is a true friend, they will understand that you have a different path, and will at the most be a little uncomfortable, yet accepting. Once again, don't announce it; just stop hiding. You're allowed to be yourself, especially when it comes to religion. Perhaps, if you are uncomfortable being open when your friend is clueless to it, find a subtle way to get a conversation going, but SUBTLE is the key word there, and don't try that right away. There's no need for you to throw yourself at them for judgment. If they don't figure it out in a month or two, then maybe try to help them guess.


......wow, that turned out longer than I had wanted to make it.......lolz I sometimes ramble like that.........No matter what happens, though, I wish you luck and blessings!

~Dove

oh and one more question...

my mom just decided that wicca was a cult, so i cant join an online coven... i dont know how the hell i can do any rituals either. i mean, sure, there is a bid clearing and even a wooded area right behind my house, but still... any tips?

Sadly, you appear to have it harder then I did. My parents were extremely accepting and really, really nice about it. About the coven and ritual and BOS stuff, I do all my rituals in my room, I don't belong to a coven, and I got most of the information for my book of shadows from books and the internet. Maybe if you sat down and showed your mother the real things about wicca/witchcraft/paganism in general, she'd understand it better. If she doesn't, don't break the house over it, you know???
Later on, maybe once the stuff with your mom and stuff has cleared up, you're gonna probably be coming out to your friends and such. For this, I found the best way to come out of the broom closet was simply to not say anything, but when someone asks, tell the truth. If someone says, what church do you go to, or do you believe in god, answer honestly.
I hope everything turns our for the best!!!
Bright blessings!
Claire

I totally agree Claire thats what I do I don't talk about it but if they ask I tell I dont hide it. I agree when i first started I would hide in my room & do my rituals you don't have to be outside. Maybe showing your mom they facts may help if not hopefully she will change her mind in time or respect that its your choose.

Ottermoon, here is what i did:
wait until a christian holiday, like christmas. dont give them a gift just yet while everyone is getting thier presents from under the tree, wait until all the excitement has died down, and the kids are playing with thier new toys. sneak into your parents' room and leave this book on your mom's pillow; U]When someone you love is Wiccan[/U] it is sgreat and gives parents allthe info they need about wiccans. and your mom will soon stop thinking that we are a big cult.

Originally Posted by SilverRose

Ottermoon, here is what i did:
wait until a christian holiday, like christmas. dont give them a gift just yet while everyone is getting thier presents from under the tree, wait until all the excitement has died down, and the kids are playing with thier new toys. sneak into your parents' room and leave this book on your mom's pillow; U]When someone you love is Wiccan[/U] it is sgreat and gives parents allthe info they need about wiccans. and your mom will soon stop thinking that we are a big cult.

Why would you wait until a sacred day for your family??? :S Obviously, you must have thought that your mom wouldn't be as supportive as you would like, or you would have spoken to her directly, and not on a Holy Day.

That... I don't even know what to say. I'm shocked. That was blatantly disrespectful to your mother and her faith. If you want to be treated with respect, you need to treat others respect. If you want your family to respect and support you in your choice of religion, then you need to do the same for them. You get what you give: it's one of the Laws of Magick.

Namaste,
Althaea

i just thought that scince it was a day for gift giving you could give it to her as a gift.