So...I'm not used to actually putting things "out there" like this, but here goes lol

Lately I've just been feeling really lost and as though I'm just drifting through life. I graduated from high school last year, only recently was able to acquire a job, only recently was able to apply for college, and feel as though the time apart from the boyfriend due to lack of travel funds might somehow hurt our relationship.

I've been feeling so much pressure about what I'm supposed to be doing with my life, now that I'm a "grown-up". What do I want to do for a living? Should I get married? When? To whom? Will I have kids? Will they interfere with what I want to do in life? Do I want one aspect of my life to be the predominant facet? Aren't I supposed to do something grand and amazing and world changing with my life here on earth?

Ugh. I over intellectualize pretty much EVERYTHING, and I know I shouldn't, but I don't know how to stop [frown] Anybody got any ideas? They would be greatly appreciated...

My opinion,If you just got out of high school and just got into college,i wouldn't worry about getting married and when.Focus on you and what you want to do in life.That may sound selfish but you are young and if you jump into to something to quick now,it could mess up you long term goals.
There should not be any pressure on what you should and should not do,All you should do is enjoy life. If you feel as though you need marriage,do a small handfasting right,in a year and one day,you two can decide to continue.
I am 39 and I fell lost too,so hay...don't sweat the small stores....I was with one woman for 17 years and its ending and i am looking for my own apartment,its like starting over and being 25 again....no easy but you just keep on keeping on,cuz the wheel in the sky keeps turning.(( lol i think thats from jounrey)) anyway, try some meditating, look with in yourself....what you truly seek or need to do will find you. me I 've been messing up ,boozing and woman chasen,been fun but i need to get back on track myself.
I wish you luck and stay focused my friend.
LD

First, I hope you never "Grow up", do everything you can to keep that feeling of wonder and discovery you have as a child alive. That will serve you well. You can be mature and adult in your thoughts and actions with out ever being "Grown up".

What you need to do is to stop over-thinking things. The Dragon's 10 Recommendations for Living:

1. Decide on a career path - but don't be afraid to change it - at any time in your life.

2. Make a budget - stick to it. You are paying the bills now. Whether you are budgeting time, money or energy you are responsible for the outcome.

3. Keep an open mind - Listen more than you talk. You will learn much.

4. Never be afraid to take a stand - If you believe strongly about the rightness of something stand your ground in the face of opposition. You will lose the fight sometimes but you will retain your integrity always.

5. Try to believe something impossible each day - This will keep your mind open and your brain working.

6. Give back to the community you live in - this is the responsibility of all citizens and you will be amazed by the return.

7. Try to do at least one good thing each day - Most often it will be unappreciated but you can always use good Karma.

8. Never be afraid to love - The more you love the more you can love. The ability to love is something we all have an infinite capacity to do.

9. Never be afraid to laugh at your yourself. Taking yourself to seriously blinds you to your humanity.

10. Never let anyone else assume responsibility for you. You are the only person who truly knows what is right for you.

Life is one hell of a crazy, wild roller coaster of a ride, up or down, right side up or upside down, going in circles or straight ahead it's the best ride in the universe - enjoy it!

Hi Audrian,

During times of great transitional aspects in our life everyone, no matter what the age (as Lord Duke so aptly points out) feels lost. Transitions in life are things like moving, going away to college, getting married, divorced, a death of a close family care giver, a new baby, etc. These are basically nodes at your life path, or crossroads when you change the current course of your journey and set a new path. It is always , to everyone, a daunting scenario to be faced with change. Change is the essence of life and what catalyzes us to new and exciting paths. I think that these guys have given you some great advice. I had the best time in college. You get to meet new people and take on new paths of knowledge. Don't worry so much about what you will do in the future. The best life is one lived right now, being in the present, not dwelling on the future aspects as much as what you are doing right now. As a woman many people, especially if you are from a small town, or restrictive culture that does not empower women, will tell you that your priority in life is getting married and having children. To put it plainly that is just bull$shit. It is a way for men to keep women down. At 18 years old you have until about the age of 36 or at least double as long as you have lived to have healthy children. That means you have plenty of time to find the right mate and then have children. Don't squander your time away worrying about finding a man, there are plenty of men out there looking to get married. Right now your priorities should be focused around one thing only: learning a skill or a trade that you can rely on should you have to be alone in this world. You don't want to have to rely on a husband for your basic needs at any point in your life. Today's world is very harsh and you need to get your degree so you can find a good-paying job. People with college degrees make twice as much money (at least) as those with only high school degrees. So completing your studies should be a top priority. This will ensure your future. And becoming an independent woman will allow you to have power and control over you life that will ATTRACT men to you. Women who have a good career also can take better care of their children with a second income. And to answer your last question, if you keep in mind that giving back to your community is important to you, you can always volunteer, so your life's work doesn't have to be how you give back to make an impact. Don't worry about accomplishing something great, just do great things for your community. If each person helped their community through various volunteer activities this world would be a lot better place.

I don't want this to be miscontrued as preaching. I myself am going through a great transition period in my life so I know how you feel, and it definitely brings me down at times, and thought I might try and offer some wisdom I have learned over the years to help you. What I do at these times which is a great ceremony/ritual spell is a "life arrow/death arrow" spell which I think I have posted on here. That may help you to realize and feel comfortable about the upcoming changes in your life. I'll see if I can find it and bump it to the top.

namaste,
JB

The best way to find something: is to stop looking for it. Then it will be in front of your nose. When i met my fiance. I did not want anyone. My ex-wife was a loony. I was through with the idea of marriage. Bad idea. So i thought. Then I met Tala. I met my soulmate. Now I am totally committed to her. I can no longer see myself as a single man again. But as a husband and soon. A father. If our lady be willing to grant us the greatest gift of all. Love is best found when it is least desired.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has replied, I appreciate your input very much. You've all given me things to think about that aren't just "Well, my life isn't being dictated for me anymore...Now what?"

Lord Duke, I wish you luck and well being in your time of transition; I know it's not easy. Also, I wish you even better in seeking to get your life back where you would like it to be.

Grey_Dragon, good. You should copyright that lol it'd make a good pamphlet :] and if what you say is true then I fully intend to personify Peter Pan to the highest available degree.

JB, you don't sound preachy at all hon. I'm actually waiting to see if I got acceptance into a nearby University. I have indeed seen the spell of which you speak and am seriously considering it or something inspired by it at the very least.

caveman, congratulations :] I'll have to remember that when I start overthinking things and desperately seeking my answers that are on the tip of my nose ;]

.....excellent answers ! For My part, I will echo some of this, saying "Go Slow" in the Relationship department! You (and your BF ) are going thru a time of Great Change; let these changes Happen - they will build the person you are to become. Take this time for Education and building your Skill Set. These things will be of great value as you go thru life. (I know so many women that married young, only to divorce and learn they had no Marketable Job Skills). Youth is for FUN. For Now, Study.. Play, have Adventures ... there is time to get serious Later !
[cool]

Another good piece of advice. It helps if your in-laws like you. Trust me. I call my soon-to-be mother in law Mom. Linn is right. I'm 35. It is now at this age i'm ready to be a father. Tala is 31. She feels she is now ready to be a mother. Have fun when you are young. Enjoy life. I did and had a blast doing it. Now at 35 I feel i can be a daddy. I look forward to it.

totally know what u me dear. I grad in 08, went 2 school again 4 Da & not all i do is work & its like where do I go from her & how?? Its hard 2 make a drime in the day & age. But I been paying what needs paid first & then anything left is funny money 2 pay me back 4 workin hard. I just have faith I'm doin the right thing follow ure signs. Believe in u're self is the big thing!![grin]

Wow - so much wisdom - we are all so lucky
I lived a pretty wild full life - most of what everyone was saying about having fun and stuff - i did - i agree for the most part
but now - well this 'transition" i am going through - doesn't feel like i am going through - but adapting to stay
so - Jayne gave the most 'responsible' advice re: career and community and how that helps later...
so -- not going that route - i have a tendency to agree with Jayne on that point - especially for women - dunno why i say that
I say - have as much fun as you can - learning the whole time -- keep it in balance, be yourself - really watch out for that peer-pressure
question authority - fight the hormones to always be thinking about boyfriends, getting married and having babies -there's lots of time for that later
take your time and explore
oh -- learn to love feeling lost - you might miss it after your found
wyrdric