Hey, look, an Ash. It's aliveeeee.

Here I am, I haven't been devoured by pygmies or frozen in carbonite. A lot of things have happened though, changed, as they are prone to. To start with I moved back to California in July, I think I mentioned that before. What I haven't said is that in the past six months I also lost my husband. He left me in August, shortly before my birthday. I had to move in with my parents, and while I was there I had to get rid of all of my tools, including my tarot deck. I was also made to go to church, which in and of itself isn't a bad thing, but all it did was make me more bitter. I struggled and fought to change into someone that Jared would love, which included deluding myself back into Christianity. All that did, of course, was confuse the crap out of me.

In October I officially stopped trying to make Jared happy, partially due to the fact that my therapist (who had spoken to him at length) told me that there was distinct possibility that he was sleeping with his sister. I moved out of my parent's house this past week due to building tension at my refusal to go to church any longer. And now I'm back here.

So I guess this is part update and part OhMyGodsPeopleIAmOnMyAssHere.

Also, I missed you guys.


~Ash

Ashfire! I'm so sorry to hear everything you've had to go through the last few months, but I am happy to see you surface and touch bases here.

You said you left your parents' place in CA and are "back here." Is that back in OK with your grandma or someplace else, if ya don't mind me asking?

Anyway, please try to keep in touch. I'm not on this site that often anymore, but you can always reach me via email. If you need my email address, just send me an IM here, and I'll give it to you. Many hugs to you!

No, I'm still in California, living with my brother and his girl. I mean Back Here as in back on this website, haha.

I will send you an IM for sure.

wow hon, Trying thinkin posstive. I know its hard. WHen Ure in that state of mind ure just like forget it there is no postive. But that's the best thing 2 do. Nice 2 see u're back.[grin]

It's hard, but I just keep reminding myself that everything changes. I know that there are lots of women who have been through what I'm going through now, and I can survive it and get stronger. Thanks, Windora.

No problem hon!! [grin]

hey Ash! ÂÂ*Welcome back. ÂÂ*[smile]

You've certainly been through the wringer, haven't you? ÂÂ*Glad to see you're coming through it all right - at least with yourself intact. ÂÂ*

....... take a deep breath, and let your Head Clear! Find your Center. Be at peace with your self ! You cant Change the things that have happened to you.... all you can do is change yourself.

That's definitely something I've learned... that I can't change what's happening so I just have to roll with it.

So many bad things happen on daily basis in my life that it's kind of ridiculous, but I've learned that it could always be worse and that, most the time, freaking out will not help.

Snarky reactions, however, are perfectly acceptable~