I've noticed your poetry take on a darker and darker tone as the days go by and I'm very disturbed by it. I don't want to see you hurt yourself. If you really are feeling that bad and are thinking about killing yourself you need to get help and get help now. If you need assistance locating someone to talk to I can try to help you track down a professional. I've been where you are and I know how hard it is but you really need to talk to someone.