LadyMaria, I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter's situation took a turn for the worse. How long is she going to be in the detention center?

Maybe it will be a dose of "tough love" that just might shake some sense into her. I'm sending you light and positive vibes to get through this. Don't give up on your daughter yet.....hold out hope and the belief that this situation can and will turn around for the better!

Yes, yes...... I realize its not a Cure for Everything...but, I am an Ole Army Ranger who raised Two Fine Young Men..... and I can tell you, that if Mine had started "going South", Somebodies Ass would have been severely Kicked. And the "35 year old" ? Somebody find a Toe Tag......
The problem with the world today is that so Few have the balls to say "NO"....... and fewer still have the courage to say "Ohhhhhhhh Hell NO!"
Yes, that IS my opinion.........
[tongue]

Back on my Soapbox !
Kids Challenge "Authority". Yet and still, they NEED Boundaries. They Function better (as Humans) when they Know the Limits of their Boundaries. It makes them feel Safe. In a way, it gives them Freedom. It is our DUTY as parents to Stand Firm when they push against the walls. You cant be a Friend and a Buddy ......and also be an effective Parent. Being a Mother is a Full Time Job and not for the Faint Hearted. (I was....and still Am, one Mean Mother!) [wink]

I am with you Linn, unfortunately that is a battle in my house, my oldest likes to walk over me, I have always been tough until the past few years, I got tired of fighting, and bla bla bla... my new hubby said if I dont pull my head out of my ass and get back to the toughness, it will get ugly. I stopped and watched.. he and you are right, so, I started again with the "parenting" and it is hard, but, it is working... Lady Maria, sending you love, good luck!

ps... i should say... when the hubby said that... it was loving... he thankfully is not an ass... I did pick a good one.. lol

Oceansedge wrote:
ps... i should say... when the hubby said that... it was loving... he thankfully is not an ass... I did pick a good one.. lol

I hope that all works out for you, OE.. it does sound like you found a good one! [wink]

My daughter got 50 days with 20 days suspended in detention center for striking me. So when she comes back home and becomes violent or whatever she will spend the remaiing 30 days and what ever other sentence she may recieve. I'm sorry I haven't been on for a while I have been too upset about the whole situation with my daughter and when I came home friday after a job interview I found my cat dead, she had been shot I guess my pet protection spell wasn't strong enough for her. I try not to be a friend to my kids but at the same time I try to keep it clear that I am there for them and always avalable if they want to talk. I stand firm on my punishments and don't give in. I just never strike my child or anything like that..grounding and taking privlages away like t.v, phone, radio,computer,friends over, computer, video games and going places. In my home those things hurt them the worse since there isn't much to do where I live. I am so mean rofl.

I feel for you, LM; being a parent is Hard ! I was never "Mean" to my boys...... but I was Strict. They knew that when I said "No", there was a reason for it (I would often explain, but sometimes, No was just No.). My boys knew that I had their best interest and well being at heart; my goal was to raise them with pride and self respect.

I agree it is so hard to raise kids now a days. It seems like you no more than face one battle and they come home from school and ur fighting another battle. (Mainly its how the kids want to dress to go to school or in public.And some of the music they listen to is just filthy.) Its so funny, when you look at your child when theyre first born you have all these hopes and dreams for them and you never ever think that they'd turn south. (Not haha funny but strange funny) I would never of imagined my daughter striking me at all and now I am affraid of her but I will never let her know that.

i have been in this situation, but not as a parent, so maybe this will give a different perspective on what might possibly be troubling your daughter. At any rate, i hope nothing i say offends, because it is not meant in that way.

My youngest brother was in the same situation as your daughter, once upon a time. He has a different dad than me and my older brother and younger sister. After my mother left his dad, he continued to have frequent visitation with his dad and his dad continuosly and purposively talked down about my mother to him. he said nasty things about her, distorted the truth, and placed all blame upon her, taking none on himself. part of this was that my mother had a miscarriage before my brother was born and it was because of a situation with his dad that caused that miscarriage. he completely turned that around and said that my mother got into a physical fight on purpose in order to lose that child. nothing could be further from the truth, but children WANT to believe their fathers. and he did.

it was only after my brother was out in two different mental institutions and served several years in jail that he confided these horrible things that he carried around in his heart (there were so many more- and it can be the smallest things that children carry with them and let fester). Well, i set him straight. i told him the truth according to everyone else except his his father, and eventually he came around. i am not going to say that everything is okay-fine with him now, because it's not-once you start on this road of being the trouble-maker, the one who snubs their nose at authority, it is sooooo hard to go back and make amends-everyone has a long memory-not just the family.

at any rate, all i am suggesting is that perhaps there are things that your daughter has now heard 2 or more sides of and unfortunately children often think there is only ONE truth and that anyone who alters the story as it is known to them, basically they are a liar. perhaps you should talk to your daughter some more about what exactly it is she is angry about. i know that is a lot harder than it sounds-been there. the only reason my younger brother talks to me today is because i finished a college education and i have a stable relationship and a good home.

I am sending all the love and light i can muster and then some your way. may the goddess and god bless you and light a path for you.