[confused]How do you feel about children being around for circle? When it's in a person's house, even if they have a big backyard and even if the kids are the most well-behaved children on the planet doesn't it seem kinda rude to just assume your kids would be welcomed there? (Unless it's a specific children's circle of course).
Now before everyone starts throwing rocks at me I have children of my own. When an event is coming up I make baby-sitting arrangement way before hand to make sure I have a great (a/k/a loud & rauncy) time with my friends without having to worry about kids hands, mouths and ears picking up things they shouldn't be! If I can't make arrangements, I don't go. I assume everyone want's to have a nice relaxed time without my little ones running around and causing a ruckus (because lets admit it, that's how kids are!).
How can you have a great cicle if you can't relax and always have to be on your guard becuase the kid want's to run around becuase what the adults are doing is boring, or play with that pretty lighted candle, or decide that since the incense smells so good they'd like to taste it as well? Any advice to deal with this or to avoid having this problem come up in the first place would be appreciated.
[smile]

I agree with you...I have 2 daughters ages 8 and 10 and unlessthe invite says "family time, bring your children" or something to that affect, I would not assume I could bring mine. In fact, the pagan store in town that I shop at had a Samhain festival at thestore last year. The store owner specifically told everyone that is was an adult thing and no children were invited unless at least 16 years old. So, no one brought their children. One woman did bring her daughter who was 16 and is a practicing pagan as well. For one, the store owner wanted it for adults only, and wo, it's in a store and we all know how children behave in stores! lol The store owner herself as 2 young children andshe arranged for someone at her house to watch them (I think it was her husband because he's not pagan).

If this is something goin on at Circles or events you have been attending I would maybe take the host/hostess aside and ask if there is a way that she could let others know not to invite their children because it is distracting and could be dangerous if the kids are free to run around wildwith burning candles and lighted incense everywhere.

It really must be hard...those of us with children know that everytime we get busy is when they want our attention...get on the phone and theyare with the "mom...mommy...momma..hey mom...mom..." about 10,000 times. I can't imagine trying to be in a circle and hearing kids do that or trying to visualize your intent/desire and a child interrupting.

I love to have children in the circle but I do a very relaxed style of working. I figure how are they going to grow up feeling accepted if we exclude them from all the fun stuff.

On the other hand the PARENTS need to take responsiblity for their littles behavior and I will ask them to if the occansion arises. It's a safety thing and I stress that, so no one gets offended or if they do I can cheerfully ask them. Well, you want lil Jonny to stay safe, riiight? They all get it eventually.

Some rites are adults only due to the level of concentration needed and if kids show up, I try to have a fun Pagan themed age appropriate activity for them and I ask who ever brought them to sub as sitter. That takes of care of people trying to impose pretty quickly.

A good way to handle this is to have a couple of fun, just celebratory rites several times a year that have kids in mind. If you keep it short and fun most kids can focus long enough to stand in circle. Give them a job to do, a lot of kids like to call the directions, let them figure out a cool way to do it.

I've had kids as young as two in circle, Mom held him on her shoulders while we called and cast. She guided him walking around us while we raised energy, it worked fine and he packs a whollup, believe me.

Ritual to me should live and breathe, what better example of natural energy than having kids involved? You can always bend your rite a bit to include everyone who comes if you use your imagination and remember how it felt to be a kid. Keep it short and sweet, less poetry, more action and it will be fine.

If you truly want or need to have adults only events, say so. Say it loud and long. Suggest to any that object that they plan their own kid-friendly rite, offer to host a kid focused circle once in a while and everyone should get the picture. If people insist on bringing their kids after being asked not to, make them watch their own, in another room if you can manage it or simply ask them to leave. It's YOUR rite so it's your RIGHT.

If your group is open to kids and you dislike working in that enviroment, you could always start your own adults only circle.

Step up and be the change you want to see.

My friend regularly brings her daughter to our circles.The girl is only 12 but is very mature for her age & is very involved in her Mum's beliefs.My daughter has been taking part since she was 14 but only on an occaisional basis (she is now nearly eighteen).My rituals are always safe for a young person to attend.

I only bring my 7 year old son if it is said that kids are to come.