I have a blended family. I have two biological kids and my honey has blessed me with two more beautiful children. The ages are from 16-7. The boys being oldest and the youngest and the two girls in the middle. I realize there is always gonna be some sort of drama, but this one hurts my heart. The oldest kids have known each other since they were toddlers. My honey and I separated for 8 years and another boy on his end we are back together. I am well accepted as a second mother to his kids as he is accepted as a second father to mine. Everyone stays at relative's houses during school( nobody goes to the same school and all out ofr town. My bio-girl is having a birthday party and my step-girl knew about this and helped plan this party and now she doesn't want to go because it is at my parents's house and she is uncomfortable there even though I am going to be there, spending the night and everything. Although I am disappointed; I used every bit of my goddess given willpower to not throw a hissy fit. I told step-girl that she gets to call bio-girl and explain why she isn't going. If it makes a difference bio-girl went to step-girl's birthday party last year and was in an uncomfortable situation of being introverted and not knowing anyone but here sister. I see a great life lesson of doing the right thing. Step-girl says bio-girl is her sister all the time, is it wrong of me to have step girl tell her sister why she isn't celebrating her birthday with her?

No. I think there is a wonderful lesson to be learned: That if she is going to dissappoint a loved one, even for a legit reason, she should be big enough to explain the situation. Also, the daughter having the party can learn from this compassion and understanding. If she can put asid her own feelings and understand that her sister would be uncomfortable at the party, then she has learned something.

I think you've chosen the best course possible in a tricky situation.

Thank you. I just needed a second opinion. BTW the party went on and step-daughter got over her insecurities and found my bio-girls's friends are just as cool as hers. It did help that I did have my honey on my side this time.

I'm glad it worked out for you...and it does make a world of difference when hubby is on your side