Greetings all - I always wanted a family but wasn't able to have children. I tried everything only to find out that I had polycyctic ovaries and had a total hysterectomy. (all that was during my 1st marriage)....My 2nd husband has two beautiful daughters and they both are married and have children of their own. So, not only did my husband make me a "mom" he also made me a Nana and gave me the family I had always dreamed of. The youngest daughter and I get along very well, and have pretty much the same twisted sense of humor. The oldest daughter has givien me more grief than I know how to deal with. I'm a nurse, so, I deal with all sorts of personalities day in and day out and have always gotten along well with people. So, it's heart breaking and very confusing when she screams and curses at me and my husband. She flips out at the drop of a hat. For some reason she always plays the "i don't want to loose my dad" card. I come from a divorced family as well and know how it feels to loose your dad; and i try to emphasize to her that she is not loosing her dad; but of coarse she is smarter than I am or everyhope to be.....she thinks everyone is stupid; also, she has lied about my husband and I to family. The most recent episode happened two months ago, my husband was over visiting, I was at work, when she started yelling at him about how miserable and manipulative I am. (i work more than full time and also go to school, so i'm never home, only to eat, shower and sleep); he told her she was wrong about me and she flipped out on him and ordered him out of the house. I was so proud of him, he has never told her she was wrong about me, never. So, now, when we see them coming and going, we wave or beep the horn and the kids will look at us, then back to their mom, then look away....and give no acknoweldgment to us at all. ...which is a heart breaker......i should add, that we recently bought the house across the street from them, we moved from ohio to florida to be closer to them. They told us about the house and mentioned that it would be great if we lived closer, so we did., they even helped us pack and move....and now, they have even said they never wanted us to buy the house....so, anyway, things are very messed up at this point....and I have never really been a mother, so, I'm not quite sure how to deal with her. Usually, whenever there has been a problem like this, I go ahead and apologize to her, even if I didn't do anything, just to keep the peace and re-establish family ties....but I can't continue to take the blame for something I didn't do. Anyone been in a similar situation/ or anyone have some wise advice? thank you and blessed be

So, what do you guys think? should I take the high road...again or cut my losses and move forward?

This is one of those things that will take a lot of time and patience. Just keep being nice to her and loving to the grandkids, and she will either settle down and learn to accept you, or she will tell you all to drop dead and cut off all contact. The issue is with her, and she needs to seriously grow up. I still have issues with my stepdaughter(who, on our wedding day, went crying to her dad to beg him not to marry me), and we have had our knock down drag out fights. But things have, for the most part settled down. I don't try to mother her, she doesn't call child and family services on me. In the end, it all works out.

Well, I understand the feeling of "losing you dad", but you seem to be a really nice woman, and I'm not sure what her deal is. (I'm 15, by the way) I have a step-mom, and she and I don't get along AT ALL. My parents divorced when I was 5, and then I stayed with my Dad, and occasionally stayed with my mom for the weekends. My mom was staying with a friend of hers, and then mom couldn't pay the bills anymore, so she had to leave. Then my step-mother comes in the picture, and she stayed in the house where mom left. My mom asked my Dad if he could pick up her stuff and then he met Lynette(step-mom) I've known her for 7 years, and in the beginning, we got along pretty well. But she's Catholic, and VERY religious, and anytime I made a mistake, she would make me feel so bad about it, and throw 'being a good person' down my throat. THAT'S why I don't get along with her. Because she would make such a big deal out of making mistakes, blahblahblah. I have a half-brother, now,(3) and anytime he would want to play with me, or want me to pick him up, she would yell at me. I talked to my Dad about it, and he never believed me, so I felt kinda alone in that. And Lynette would find ways to make me seem like I'm always plotting, scheming, and stupid crap like that. When I was little, there were times I was mean, and harsh, but I'm a child and don't know any better. Even though my step-mom has made my life pretty bad sometimes, she still taught me things and I appreciate that.

In your case, I think you should talk to your husband and tell him your side of the story, and ask his point of view. Then tell him to give his daughter a chance to talk to him, too. Let her know that he's listening and cares about what she says.

Sorry it's so late in replying >.< Happy New Year, and hope everything worked/works out for you!!!