A Warning for All Us Crones ( AKA "Golden Girls")

A friend says that even though this isn't in Snopes.Com, it's nevertheless true. So, I'm forwarding this warning to all my "aging gracefully" sisters here and ask you to pass it on to your female friends and family members.

THEFT WARNING

Most of you have read the scare mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on. While the kidney story was an urban legend, this one is not. It is happening every day.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked porridge. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years? Whose thighs were these, and what happened to mine? Hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose. Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again.

My behind was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. I couldn't believe that my new behind was attached at least three inches lower than my original. Now, my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.

It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair, and I watched horrified, but fascinated, as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was getting really scary. My body was being replaced one section at a time. How clever and fiendish.

Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up unnoticed, something like maturity. NO! I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning. In despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next?

My poor neck suddenly disappeared faster than the Thanksgiving turkey it now resembled. That is why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical profession by myself.

Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! That isn't really plastic those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts, don't you? The next time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted," look again. Was it lifted from you? I think I finally found my thighs, and I hope Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!

This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!!!

P.S. I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed, and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits while I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband!!!

Same thing happened to me!! The thefts began when I was in my early forty's and stll continue. Oh! The inhumanity of it all!!![lol]

Someone replaced my knee with a defective one.[lol][lol][lol]

My arms were "replaced" about 2 years ago, but I never knew how or why. Now I have an explanation.

I think I am seeing things.......When I look in the mirror who is that imposter I see? Â* Â* Â*[mad]

Well, WhatEver is happening, Sages are not Totally Immune !

[tongue]

I totally understand what you are saying, LINN.... After working geriatrics for so many years I have seen some of the replacement parts men are given by these thieves. Pit-ty-ful!!

I have had a few things stolen and replaced. Starting with my tummy a year ago.....[smile]

yep! Same thing happened with my boobs and tummy!...I still have my firm but for now![lol][lol][lol][lol][lol]

laethaween wrote:
yep! Same thing happened with my boobs and tummy!...I still have my firm but for now!

Then DON'T FALL ASLEEP or you'll lose it!! [eek][eek][lol]