I'm just her friend!

[RainWillow]

Okay, this seemed to be the only appropriate place to post this! Or well, the most appropriate...anyway.

I have a quite a few gay/lesbian friends. My best friend happens to be bi (well and a witch too).

I was wondering if anyone else had experienced the "because you're best friend is gay you must be to" assumption.

Not that I like think its terrible to be considered gay when you're not...it just gets weird sometimes when you're around people you don't know very well and they don't know how to act...

Anyone else?

[RainWillow]

Okay, so I just realised I forgot to post the hilarious story of me and my best friend with one of our experiences.

A local coven around here was holding a well "invitation only" ritual. It was open to public, but you had to know somebody who knows somebody to get the invite.

Well, even though the ritual was closed to only 35 people, somehow my friend and I got in. It was a ritual to empower the magickal self, and it was really beautiful and formal (more formal than I had ever been able to do by myself).

Well, my friend and I went there together, talked all night, and well of course left together. My friend is by and had a guy short hair cut, and I guess I am the girlier one of the two (but not by much mind you hehe).

The couple who was holding the ritual was gay, and there were quite a few gay couples there. It was a great experience to meet so many people. I had also know one of the women in the coven because she works at the metaphysical store around here, and I had always gone in with my best friend.

The second my friend and I pull away I go "OH WOW...they thought we were gay together!" And she goes omg...they did! We've always been seen together...

So...just thought that was a funny story to share

[Artemis_NYC]

No, you're right. Assumptions suck.

Just ask my best friend of the last ten years. She's often pigeonholed because of me. You can start a support group together!

Seriously though, I'm sorry I have nothing more to offer you in terms of advice. People will always make assumptions. It's up to you if you want to let it roll off your back- since you know who you are, and that's all that counts- or if you feel like setting the record straight (pun unintended). The only key to doing that is finding a tactful way to say so, without hurting your friend's feelings. But you're a very smart girl, and if you're so inclined, I'm confident you'll come up with something.

[bobdebob]

I have never really given this much thought. I do not care if someone knows I am gay, pagan, witch or a treehugger. I live in the southern USA, at present and if I was concerned about what the locals think of me I would never get anything done, let alone be myself. I have many hetro and gay friends. My hetro friends are not too cocerned about such assumptions so why should I be. Â*we take the attitude like the song from 25 or so years ago, "lets give them something to talk about!" We all know who we are; who cares what people think![grin]

[bbg_1980]

I would have to say that the assumption made by others, that you are gay by association is a founded one sometimes.

For a long time those who were openly gay were only welcomed and accepted by others who were gay. Why would someone want to associate themselves with a person or group of people that despises them? In the late 80's to mid 90's the gay community was becoming more and more accepted. Unfortunately, I would have to say that this acceptance has regressed considerably in the past five years.

I have a good friend who is straight and I honestly feel self-conscious when we go out together. I would hate someone to accuse him of being gay for just being seen with me, and him losing interest in our friendship. I of course know he would not be utterly offended, but I still think about it. I am sure others feel the same way. This is probably because when I came out, I lost a great deal of my straight guy friends. I know people will say, that if they were your true friends they would not have cared. This does not mean though that it didn't hurt.

[Moonstar]

I'm straight with alot of gay friends and yes people have said I must be, but I don't worry about that, I love all my friends no matter who they are or what others may think. That just shows me the narrow mindedness of some folks. Life is to special to worry.

[phoenix]

I honestly have no idea if i have any gay friends, and i really dont care about it. if someone assumed i was gay because of the company i kept then let them think it. if they proclaim it, let them. i work for a great company that puts no thought to orientation, and if they did i have a great lawyer. If you are gay great, if your not, great. If you assume i am, wonderful, if you dont, i really dont care. again just my thoughts. i think there are much greater things to be concerned about when chosing friends. [smile]

[lunafaery]

I don't care what anyone else thinks of me, I love my friends for who they are, not who they are attracted to. I have been pigeon holed as well. But we always have a good laugh over it.