Trully Bi?

[brothernature]

Tis alright, but for me it isnt about sex. Stright people wouldnt like even the thought of cuddling with another man...or so am i lead to believe.

[fate]

I love cuddling with a man...I'm straight.....[lol][lol][lol]....I am also female

[grin]

[brothernature]

ha ha, i ment to put men in there....but u know what i meant anyways. >_< lol

[JayneBond]

Well I would definitely qualify myself as not bisexual but lesbian because I am only attracted to women for sex. I have always been attracted to women. The first recollection of this I have is when I was very young and I would not mis "Wonder Woman" with Linda Carter- this 1970's show. I remember dreaming about her at night in those tall red boots and wanting her to lasso me! I also never dreamed sexually of men, always women. IN high school when I was dressing in the locker room I felt guilty seeing other women so I would avert my eyes- especially at hot cheerleaders OH MY! My first sexual experience (when I lost my virginity) was with a girl a few years older than me who thought I was a boy because I was playing little league baseball on a travelling allstar team and she was like yummmm. I have tried men, but the act of sex with a man makes me vomit-literally. My girlfriend however is bisexual. She is attracted to both men and women equally and has had mostly male lovers- she likes the broom stick. hahahahahha. Oh lust is always so complicated.

namaste,
JB

[lavenderdawn]

I think each person knows from a pretty young age what they like. The social pressure to be straight is what ties us up in knots. I know two men who lost their homes and any family support while still in high school because they were gay. No one could tell me it was a choice after that. These guys would've been straight if there was a choice involved, believe me. They both tried to date women but it was obvious it wasn't working for anybody.

I felt so bad for both of them and if I would've been a position to do so, I would've taken them in but I was still in school myself.

I always looked at women and men. As a young woman I experimented with women but they were not good experiences so I let it drop. It just seemed too complicated to date women when I had an acceptable option.

I got married and just sort of pushed "those" feelings aside. When I became ordained as Priestess I knew there was a large amount of inner work I needed to do in order to be of service to others and I held on through the storms that came. I felt there were certain things( mostly sexual stuff) that I was unready to face at that time and I put all those things in a box and promised myself(and Diety) that I would deal with them later.

Later came and went and I ignored the box though it thumped and rattled from time to time. Finally the lid flew off and I was forced to face all those things I had hidden for so long. I met someone who was a personafication of my shadow(and I was hers) I fell in love with this woman. We also have past life associations and my husband was in the mix too( don't ask, it's a very long story that I may turn into a book one day).

It got really ugly and painful and only now after almost two years am I starting to heal from the whole thing. I almost died during the height of it and still suffer a lot of pain, which I'm slowly forgiving myself for. (see forgiveness thread)

My inability to deal with my feelings made this all much harder than it had to be. I ignored something vital to my nature and paid a heavy price(am still paying). I still don't know how my attraction to women is going to fit into my life but I know just not thinking about it isn't an option anymore.

My husband and I have been completely physically faithful to one another for 20 years, even through this last bit of insanity and I don't want to mess with that but how can I work this out without being unfaithful? Poly is NOT an option w/ my hubby, though I'm not jealous at all, he is, even of women, though he, like all men is intrigued by the idea. Actual practice is different than fantasy. We've talked about hiring a woman just for sex but that feels, I dunno, kind of cold and pointless. Neither one of us in really into casual sex so I'm left with this empty longing for a woman and he has a partner he can't fulfill on that level. Being bi sucks if you're me.

My first teacher who is a lesbian said, "Oh No! Are SURE your not a lesbian? It's soo much easier.", when I told her I was bi. Guess she was right.

[TwilightCatstorm]

I am Bi and I enjoy every minute of it. I don't hide but then again I don't flaunt it due to where I work and how small the towns are. In this towns opinion if it wouldn't upset My parents they would have burned Me at the stake just for being different make no nevermind that I am also a goth type person ('80's version).

Bright Blessings

[JayneBond]

I know some female witches who have worked out with their non-witch husbands that it is ok to practice sex magic with female partners.

That could be an option for you Lavenderdawn.

I certainly don't think that being a lesbian or bisexual is easy. Before I was out I really tried hard to be str8 but it caused me a lot of internal strife. Once I slept with women I finally realized all the angst and anger and self-hatred was because I was living a lie. Living a lie is always harder than a superficial lifestyle to fit in. I did lose everything when I came out, but I did gain something my self respect and esteem for living my truth. You have to weigh it out and like I said, perhaps incorporate lesbian sex magick into your magick. Sex magick with women is better because you can go for much longer periods of sedurunt to build a tremendous cone of power- males blow it too fast.

hope this helps,
JB

[lavenderdawn]

THanks Jayne. He is just too insecure to allow any exploration on my part. He can feel my divided heart I guess. He's more psychic that I am so hiding anything is just right out, plus I just can't live a lie as you said but I feel like I already am to some extent, ack.

Still sorting it out but thanks for the suggestion.

[ChaoticPeace]

I find this topic frustrating because I am bi and some people view that as "indecisive" which ticks me off. Just because I am attracted to both male and female does not make me indecisive , if anything it makes me smarter because I have just doubled my chances of meeting the right one!

[JayneBond]

Hahahahaha,

So wait you are smarter because you are bisexual LOL.

It's not that bisexuals are indecisive, it is like I pointed out- they are attracted to both men and women. Homosexual men are attracted to other men, and homosexual women are attracted to other women. Usually truly homosexual individuals rarely have sex with the opposite sex. Bisexuals have partners of both sexes fairly equally if they are in a culture that does not degrade this lifestyle.

I love bi-girls, they are a lot of fun in bed! Oh the things they will do..i like to call them TRYsexual. My girlfriend is bisexual and she likes more androgenous males or females. She is very femme though herself. I think that you don't really choose your sexuality. It is like your hair color, you are built that way genetically.

More power to you Chaotic Peace.

namaste,
JB