i love the people in my office--great sense of humor!! here's what they emailed around today:

ELDERLY LADIES


Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing

nothing.

One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?"

The other replies, "Oh sure I do."

The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?"

The second
old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."

After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who
drives you to the beach?"

_____________________

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship
holding her hat on tightly so that it would not blow off in the
wind.

A gentleman approached her and said,

"Pardon me, madam.

I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your
dress is blowing up in this high wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this
hat."

"But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!" said
the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied,

"Sir,anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought
this hat yesterday!"

____________________


Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement
home reminiscing.

The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and
demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a
cucumber she could buy for a penny.

The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much
bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big
onions she could buy for a penny a piece.

The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying,
but I remember the guy you're talking about."

__________________

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Both could
barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along,they came to an
intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be
losing it. I could have sworn we just went through red light."

After a few more minutes they came to another intersection, the
light was red, and again they went right through.

This time, the passenger was almost sure that the light had been
red, but was also concerned that she might be seeing things.

She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention.

At the next intersection,sure enough, the light was definitely
red and they blew right through it.

She turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred! Did you know
that you ran through three red lights in a row? You could have
killed us!"

Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh S*&t! Am I driving?

They DO have a great sense of humor-Thanks for the laughs.
Dawn

Loved 'em! [lol]

Oh Sh it am I driving? Love it![lol][lol][lol]

cute cute cute![lol][lol][lol][lol]