Meditating with Your Children

As parents, sometimes all we want is a time of quiet. Wrestling with all there is to do and with the kids watching television, playing with toys and yelling (with distress or glee), this seems to be nearly imposable. But, why should it? Take the time to teach the young ones how to meditate. You must have patience with this as the outcome will generally not be what you wish it to be but, the lessons are so important regardless.

Infants, of course, will not understand any of the how or why of meditation. However, there are great benefits for them. Take your child in your arms after she has been changed, feed and burped. Sit or lie in a comfortable position with the lights low. You may even want to turn on some soothing music. Breathe. Take deep breathes in slowly relaxing your entire body. It is very important at this point to remember not to let yourself relax so much that you become unaware of your child in your arms. With that in mind, continue to let your muscles and mind get to quiet state. Visualize that state encompassing your child; visualize your child relaxing also. You may only get a few moments, depending on your child's moods and needs. Don't force quiet, instead build on it as the experience of being held and in a relaxing and quiet environment may be or become desirable to her.
***Toddlers may seem like mission impossible. You will need to attempt meditating on their schedules. When you sense that they are slowing down a bit, sit somewhere comfortable and hold him on your lap. This can be facing toward you or away, which ever they prefer. Again, work on taking deep breathes and when doing so visualize them relaxing with you. Chances are, they will shift and squirm. Let him choose his position, just try to keep your eyes closed and stay relaxed. Don't get frustrated as this will not benefit him or you. You may only get a matter of seconds, if so, let him go. Try again tomorrow. You may find him starting to look forward to it.
***As they start to get older, you may try softly speaking your meditation. Perhaps you use a visualization of colors to deepen your state. For this example, whisper the color you see so as you both will share the experience. Example: "now I see purple all around us. Everything is a shade of purple, like the skin of an eggplant. Try to see the purple with me. (Breathe, relax) Purple...." As they get more talkative and familiar with the process you have chosen, they may end up guiding you through it. Let them, even if it is erroneous, the outcome here is to reach a state of quiet, learn to relax, and introduce them to the pleasures of meditating. All of the other lessons on this subject can be gently brought about as they get older.
***Entering the teenage years, they now can fully begin to grasp at the process and desired goals of meditation. Try starting a scheduled time of meditation in your living room. If they do not want to participate then this is the time for them to be quiet and be in their rooms or elsewhere. If they are up to it, then parallel meditate. Sit side by side and proceed. At this age you may want to talk them through it, let them find their own way or even try a guided meditation. For a guided meditation, you can speak it for the both of you, let them speak it or even record it (or use a pre-recorded meditation).
***Meditation can really add to life regardless of your belief system or your age. Especially in our fast paced world of multi-tasking, a few moments of inner reflection can change our outlook on the rest of the day and lower our stress levels. Why should we assume that our children can not be involved in this? They can. With no expectations and loads of patience, we can teach our children a skill they can utilize for the rest of their lives.


Some resources that you can use include:
Raising Witches by Ashleen O'Gaea has an interesting guided meditation for adolescents
Pagan Parenting by Kristin Madden
Children's Nighty Night and Nap CD that features children's relaxation exercises