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Browse through any New Age section of your local bookstore, and you will be sure to find spellbooks listing all sorts of love spells. However, what will be more difficult to find in those books is information dealing with the ethics of casting these love spells. Like it or not, most things in life, including practicing the Craft, have rules and guidelines. The Wiccan Rede of "harming none" and the Threefold Law stating that "your actions, good or bad, return to you three times over," apply in love and matters of the heart, too. So, before you attempt to perform any love spells to attract a new lover or life partner, please consider the following.
The standard position among many Pagans and Wiccans is that most love spells are usually frivolous, but, in actuality, they can also be downright dangerous. You should never do spells or works of magick to make a particular person love you. Trying to change the emotions of another and focusing on a particular person is clearly manipulation and should not be attempted. Spells aimed at limiting the freedom and free will of any individual are wrong. Love is a very powerful force, and passion can have a volatile energy; so, they should not be controlled. Remember that with or without magick, you can't force someone to love you, and magick alone will not hold together the relationship you desire. Spells performed to manipulate the will of another can backfire and result in negative consequences and a poor outcome. Because this can be confusing and dangerous, many Pagans and Wiccans recommend NOT performing any love spells of any kind, period.
So, what can you do if you want a new relationship and feel the need to attract someone new to your life? What type of love spell or magick IS considered acceptable and safe? First, consider the fact that many people don't love themselves and search desperately for someone else to love them to fill this void and make them feel whole. So, in this instance the first lessons we each need to learn are self-respect and self-love. Concentrate on working on yourself, internally, to accept yourself and find the love there within. Recognize your strengths and attributes that you not only could contribute to a relationship with another, but those that help make you a strong, independent person with a place in the Universe. Spell work devoted to self-respect and self-esteem, reading self-help books in any areas of weakness, seeking out activities you excel at and enjoy, and even seeking therapy, if necessary, are all ways to open the doors to self-love and acceptance. Other types of inwardly directed spells to consider are works of magick that increase your confidence, strengthen your patience, improve your conversational skills, or even spells to bring you a little extra money so you can afford to go out more often to meet new people. Next, if you still feel compelled to perform love spells, stick to those that are considered acceptable and are benign. The best magick to perform to improve your love life is a ritual or spell that will draw love to you and does NOT have any references to any particular person. This lets the Universe know that in general you are open for and seeking love in your life.
These types of spells don't manipulate anyone, but broadcast your desire and open yourself up to the love in the Universe, similar to an astral love beacon. You can also focus on spells asking the God and Goddess to present opportunities to you to meet others and the ability to recognize those opportunities when they come. Other ethical uses for love-related magick would be to help heal or improve an existing relationship you are in, as long as you are not trying to specifically force the other person into feeling something that is not there. If you have this situation, you should get permission from your other half before doing any spells of this type. Having more time to spend together, better communication, or even a more active sex life are all possible aspects of a relationship that might need some help. Remember however, that every relationship requires responsibility and effort to keep it healthy, and magick alone will not hold it together. Of course, it's important to recognize that magick can only do so much. You are also required to put forth the mental and physical effort that's necessary in anything important to be successful.
If you spend all your free time sitting at home alone, no spell will help you. Even with a spell working for you, you still need to get out and about, be social, and put yourself in opportunities to meet people. Sometimes Wiccans and Witches are approached and asked to perform a love spell for someone else. Again, the ethical issue of free will is confronted. My personal opinion is to never get involved in the love lives of others because usually, in this type of circumstance, you only get one side of the story. Unless you know the exact intentions of both individuals involved in the relationship, you are setting yourself up to manipulate someone as well as meddling in someone else's relationship. Should the spell cause harm, that negativity will be returned to you as well as to the one who asked for the spell. So, remember that it's best to avoid performing love spells both for yourself and for others. But, if you really feel compelled to do them, focus solely on love spells not directed at any other person, and on spells that make yourself more receptive to love in general, and to the opportunities that come along to meet others. Then, get yourself moving and seek out those opportunities.
Thelma6954 is a practicing eclectic solitary Wiccan who also moderates several online message boards regarding Wicca, as well as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered issues. Prior to a disability in 1996, she worked as a medical assistant and paralegal. She's originally from southern California, but currently resides in northeast Texas with her boyfriend, grown son, cats Luna and Deuce, and turtle Freya.
