POWER is where ever you use it...be it darkness or light! so this is where you strengthen yourself ~ if you are an apprentice of wizardry...you are learning how to do that ~ FEAR will bring what you fear to you ~
I agree with Fate over the fear issue.You have to learn NOT to fear it, but respect it and beable to control your own emotions.Fear is a mind killer and a very sharp knife in the wrong hands or in this case frame of mind.Self meditation and self anylizing and patience.You can pick a knife up and use it in many constructive ways.It is a useful, sensible tool.The 'act' or 'use' of the knife is the intention of the wielder, not the knife itself.The same with Magick.
And only through these methods have i become the person i am, and not the darkness that resides within. Though i do still try to find that balance, as stated, I need to walk a careful line with certain things. its one thing to embrace the darkness for the balance it brings (which i want.) its another to get lost in darkness, (which i have been before.) no desire to go back to there.
You said *no desire to go back there*...yet it still has you by the tail if you are fearful of facing it!
We all have that darkness.... and until you embrace it and tell it who is in charge....it will still *be in charge* whether you look at it or not ~ soooooooo on that note....seems that your darkness is in charge right now? whether you play with it or not ~
I like the knife example STAR! which way are you going to use it....? [cool]
LOL... I acknowledge it as a tool.. and know where I am going with it before I even pick it up..If you wander around with it in you hand you might cause an accident.*LMAO* or get you into mischief!!*OUCH*[evil]
I too like to do most of my magick at night. I also like and had to face the darker side of me. You got to face that shadow and join with it, let it(yourself) know that who's in control. The more you ignore, put off the more running you do it's in control. Grab that shadow by the tail, and whip him/her around and face him/her become ONE with yo-self.[wink][lol][lol]
An old lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Old Lady: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Old Lady: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
my cats are outside cats and love to bring the darn mice up to the porch and drop them until i see what they have done, then they move them...ugh...yuck
Fallon
ah i just found out today that I do indeed have a house. It is an old house, 3 to 4 bedrooms, big kitchen; a lot of room in the house. One part is about 160 years old and the addition is 102 years...